Seemingly scarce, and looking forward to children

I’ve been rather absent from my blog, much more than I had intended, but it is not because of a lack of interest in Druidry or Neo-Paganism. I’ve spent this spring thinking and pondering. I’ve been considering my connection to this path, feeling my growing internal resolution — or rather, realization — that this is indeed the right path for me, at least in the here and now. I’ve spoken with my significant other about wanting to raise our children in Neo-Pagan traditions, and had an explicit conversation with a close older relative to let her know of this decision and encouraged her to always ask any questions that she might have.

I think more and more in this frame of mind: what can I do today to prepare for a family with kids in the future? I am not currently ready for a child in my life, but that day is coming soon and I’m really looking forward to it. This is partially sparked by my older sister recently having her first child. Seeing that shift in her life makes me think of that not-so-distant shift in my own. Holding her month-old daughter on a recent visit to Idaho was simply wonderful. It felt completely right; it was grounding, an experience that makes you stop and realize what’s really important as all else in the world falls away.

The experience also made me consider a future change in career. I’m currently a public school teacher, and overall I do enjoy my job, but I’m unsure if I will enjoy it for a lifelong career. All job-specific concerns aside, I’m not sure if I was made to have a single lifelong career. I am a Gemini through and through; I have a million interests and I always like to learn about and try new things. However, the only alternatives I had previously thought of sounded nice but didn’t seem like they would be satisfying enough for me.

Lately, though, I’ve been looking into being a nurse midwife. There is a 2-year certification program not far from where we plan on moving. The only aspect of practicing medicine that’s ever appealed to me is women’s health, but lately this idea has really struck a chord in me. It is not just a wistful thought, but rather I can see myself doing it, and being happy and balanced, too. I wonder if my slowly growing relationship with Brighid has a bit to do with it?

It’s not something I plan on doing immediately, but after having my own kids I will need to seriously consider my options.

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